Narcissistic Abuse Series #3 - Types of Narcissists
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) falls under the Cluster B category of personality disorders in the DSM-5-TR, alongside Antisocial, Borderline, and Histrionic Personality Disorders. People within this cluster often share some common traits, things like self-centeredness, difficulty managing emotions or impulses, dramatic or unpredictable behavior, and a knack for manipulation or deception.
While the DSM-5-TR officially recognizes only one diagnosis for NPD, the truth is that narcissism doesn’t look the same in everyone. It can show up in different ways and with varying intensity. In the descriptions below, perhaps you’ll recognize patterns you hadn’t really noticed before.
Overt (Grandiose) Narcissist
When you picture a narcissist, the overt narcissist is probably the image that comes to mind: confident, charismatic, and larger-than-life. They’re the ones who crave attention, demand admiration, and make sure everyone knows just how important they are. On the surface, they can be charming, successful, and magnetic. But beneath that polished exterior lies an insatiable need to be seen as superior.
Overt narcissists thrive on being the center of attention. They often dominate conversations, interrupt others, and steer every topic back to themselves. Criticism is their kryptonite, and even gentle feedback can spark anger, defensiveness, or outright contempt. They see the world through a lens of competition, constantly comparing themselves to others and needing to come out on top.
“If you’re always the one trying to fix it, maybe it’s not yours to fix.”
In relationships, overt narcissists may start off as thrilling and confident partners, the kind who make you feel special just by being chosen by them. But over time, their charm can fade into control, entitlement, and emotional manipulation. They might belittle others to feel powerful or withdraw affection when they don’t get the admiration they expect.
At their core, overt narcissists are deeply insecure, though they’d never admit it. Their grandiosity and arrogance act as armor, protecting a fragile self-esteem that depends entirely on external validation.
If you’ve dealt with an overt narcissist, you probably know how exhausting it can be to live in someone else’s spotlight. Healing begins when you realize you deserve relationships built on mutual respect, not performance, control, or constant ego management.
Covert (Vulnerable) Narcissist
Not all narcissists fit the loud, arrogant, attention-seeking mold. Some wear a much quieter mask. Enter the covert narcissist, also known as the “vulnerable” or “introverted” narcissist.
Unlike their more obvious counterparts, covert narcissists tend to be reserved, sensitive, and even self-deprecating on the surface. They may not boast openly or demand attention in an obvious way. Instead, they seek admiration more subtly, through playing the victim, fishing for reassurance, or using guilt to keep others emotionally hooked.
Covert narcissists often come across as misunderstood geniuses, martyrs, or emotionally fragile souls. They might express envy or resentment indirectly, using passive-aggressive comments or backhanded compliments. Underneath their quiet demeanor lies the same deep need for validation and control that defines all narcissistic types - it’s just hidden behind humility or insecurity.
“Relationships are about trust. If you have to play detective, then it’s time to move on.””
Because their tactics are so subtle, covert narcissists can be especially confusing to identify. You may find yourself feeling guilty for setting boundaries or constantly second-guessing your own reactions. If that sounds familiar, it’s not in your head. It’s part of the manipulation.
Healing from a relationship with a covert narcissist often begins with recognizing the pattern for what it is: emotional control wrapped in self-pity. Once you see it clearly, you can begin reclaiming your sense of peace, confidence, and self-trust.
Malignant Narcissist
The malignant narcissist is often considered the most dangerous and destructive type of narcissist. While many narcissists crave admiration or control, the malignant narcissist goes a step further: they find satisfaction in dominance, cruelty, and emotional harm. Their behavior blends the traits of NPD with the callousness and aggression often seen in Antisocial Personality Disorder, creating a deeply toxic mix.
Unlike other narcissistic types who may seek validation out of insecurity, malignant narcissists aren’t just looking to be admired - they want to win. They thrive on power and will use manipulation, intimidation, and even emotional or psychological abuse to maintain it. Empathy is nearly nonexistent, and remorse rarely shows up. If they hurt someone, they may justify it, minimize it, or even take pleasure in it.
“Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”
On the surface, a malignant narcissist might appear confident, assertive, and successful. But behind closed doors, their need for control can lead to explosive anger, vengeful behavior, and a chilling disregard for others’ well-being. They often target those who are empathetic, kind, or easily guilted, typically people who will bend over backward to keep the peace.
Being in a relationship with a malignant narcissist can feel like walking on eggshells, never knowing what will set them off next. Their charm can quickly turn to cruelty, and their version of “love” often comes with fear and confusion.
If this sounds familiar, know this: their behavior is not your fault. The path to healing begins with recognizing that what you’ve experienced isn’t normal conflict, it’s abuse. Reaching out for support, whether through therapy or trusted loved ones, is the first step toward breaking free and reclaiming your peace.
Communal Narcissist
The communal narcissist is one of the most confusing types to spot because, on the surface, they often look like the best kind of person, kind, giving, and community minded. They’re the helpers, the advocates, the ones who seem to dedicate their lives to serving others. But if you look a little closer, their generosity often has strings attached.
Unlike the overt narcissist who craves admiration for their success or power, the communal narcissist seeks validation through their goodness. They want to be seen as the most caring, the most moral, the most selfless person in the room. Their acts of kindness are often more about how they look than how they feel.
You might notice that they love to talk about all the good they do - the volunteer work, the charity donations, the people they’ve helped. And while their actions might seem admirable, their empathy tends to stop where their image begins. If someone challenges their motives or fails to show enough appreciation, the mask can slip quickly, revealing defensiveness, guilt-tripping, or even cruelty.
In relationships, communal narcissists often use their “good deeds” as leverage, reminding others of how much they’ve sacrificed or how lucky everyone is to have them. They can make you feel selfish for having your own needs or opinions because, after all, they’re just trying to help.
“Sometimes you have to make a decision that will hurt your heart but heal your soul.”
At the heart of it, the communal narcissist’s need for admiration is still about ego. It’s just wrapped in the language of compassion. Recognizing this dynamic can be difficult, especially when their behavior is socially praised. But true kindness doesn’t demand applause, and genuine empathy doesn’t seek validation.
If you’ve ever walked away from a relationship with a so-called “saint” feeling drained, guilty, or never quite good enough, you might have been dealing with a communal narcissist. Healing begins with remembering that real love doesn’t need a spotlight.
Neglectful Narcissist
The neglectful narcissist doesn’t always shout, manipulate, or dominate like other types. Instead, their harm often comes from what they don’t do. They withdraw, ignore, and emotionally abandon the people closest to them. Their lack of empathy shows up as indifference, not aggression, which can make the damage harder to recognize at first.
Neglectful narcissists are deeply self-absorbed. They’re so focused on their own needs, feelings, and interests that the emotional world of others barely registers. They might come across as aloof, detached, or “checked out.” Partners or children of neglectful narcissists often describe feeling invisible, like they’re constantly reaching for affection, validation, or even basic attention that never comes.
“They don’t love you. They love how you make them feel about themselves.”
In relationships, a neglectful narcissist might appear calm or easygoing, but underneath that quiet exterior is an unwillingness (or inability) to genuinely connect. They may dismiss your emotions, ignore your bids for closeness, or act inconvenienced by your needs. Over time, this emotional starvation can leave you feeling lonely, unworthy, and desperate for scraps of attention.
What makes this kind of narcissism so insidious is its subtlety. There’s no explosive anger, no grand displays, just a slow erosion of emotional intimacy. You start to question yourself: Am I asking for too much? Am I being needy? But the truth is, healthy relationships are built on mutual care, not cold indifference.
Healing from the effects of a neglectful narcissist means learning to reconnect with your own emotional needs and realizing that wanting to be seen, heard, and valued isn’t “too much.” It’s human. And you deserve a relationship where presence, empathy, and genuine connection flow both ways.
Next in this blog series: Traits & Struggles of Narcissistic Abuse Survivors
Whether you’ve already broken free from a narcissistic relationship or are just beginning to notice the painful patterns that have kept you stuck, healing often begins with awareness. You might be realizing that no matter how much you gave or how carefully you tried to avoid conflict, the narcissist’s reactions never changed—or you may be trying to make sense of the confusion and pain left behind after being discarded.
Wherever you are in this process, know that you are not alone. Many have walked this same path and found their way to peace, clarity, and self-trust again. Working with a therapist who understands narcissistic abuse can help you process what you’ve been through, rebuild your confidence, and begin to create a life that feels safe and authentic.
If you’re ready to take the next step toward healing, reach out to Novus Psychotherapy & Counseling Center for support today. You deserve to feel whole, grounded, and free.
American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.). https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425787