When we’re talking about narcissistic abuse, the focus is usually on the narc, but what about the people in their orbit?  What is it that keeps people so attached and willing to live with such an unhealthy dynamic?

Allow me to introduce a thing called codependency.

Well, it’s the middle of November and the holidays are in full swing. We’ve just finished off Halloween, and now we are approaching Thanksgiving on the way to the end-of-year holidays.

Before we know it, we'll have family gathered around a table and a picturesque perfect scene where of course no one is throwing anything, and there's no yelling or screaming or cursing about the turkey or the football game or fill-in-the-blank for whatever works for your family.

If you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse, chances are you’re trying to pick up the pieces, make sense of what happened, and figure out who you even are. 

If you, too, have been made to believe that you’re just inherently wrong,  remember that they chose you, whether that’s as a friend or a romantic partner. That means there is something about you they’re drawn to.

So what are some traits common to people who have experienced narcissistic abuse?

While the DSM-5-TR officially recognizes only one diagnosis for NPD, the truth is that narcissism doesn’t look the same in everyone. It can show up in different ways and with varying intensity.

In the descriptions below, perhaps you’ll recognize patterns you hadn’t really noticed before.

Narcissistic abuse often isn’t obvious—it usually happens slowly and subtly, leaving lasting emotional and psychological effects.

Here are some common signs.

Narcissist is a word that’s been getting thrown around a lot lately. It pops up on social media, in the news, or even in casual conversation as someone describes their friend, parent, or significant other.  Most of us know someone who has a really high opinion of themselves, but are they narcissistic or are they just a garden variety a**hole?

Silence around suicide costs lives.
We lose people not because they don’t want help; but because we’re too afraid to talk about it.
It’s time to change that.